your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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