trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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