So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My ass is underappreciated
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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