So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize