sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
