I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You're like the curious george of whores
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
