k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize