He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Even my vagina gasped.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
