I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
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