How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
