Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
