I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
