just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
