doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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