shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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