Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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