she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
