One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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