that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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