Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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