her vagina looked like bernie madoff
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
