I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
