It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize