She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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