are you so shy because you have an std?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
