And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
