Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
