Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize