we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
How external is "for external use only"?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
