its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
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I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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