she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
