I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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