your parents love me but you hate me
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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