i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
