I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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