you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
