Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
