I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
the day after is always just damage control
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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