awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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