i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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