Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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