dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
