Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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