"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize