i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I want to make a zoo with you.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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