Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
