Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
