perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
