Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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