Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
