Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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