im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
