Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
