Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Watching her eat just hurts me
foreskin is a definite game changer
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
