just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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