smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
