But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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