I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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