Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
