At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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