Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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