I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
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