I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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