Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
